She's The Reason
by ConsistentlyInconsistent
Summary: She was the reason he left his childhood friend at night. She was the reason he wanted to be strong. She was his reason and he was hers. EDIT--extended ending


AN: This is just a one-shot! Or at least…I'm only planning on this being a one-shot. We'll see how it goes. For any of you who gave your support while I was sick, thank you very much! I replied to each review sent, you can see the responses on my profile page. Also, a friend got me to sign up for a LiveJournal account so if you have one come add me as a friend and you can check out where I am on different stories and just what's going on if I'm late with something! The idea for this originally came while working on 'Death Is Only The Beginning' when Mad Mad World asked if I was going to add Kag/Gin to the voting list. Sadly, I did not…but I hope this makes up for it if anyone wanted that pairing! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

EDIT: I had originally debated over where to end this. I stopped short and wasn't totally pleased with the ending. But after receiving a review from Yemi Hikari addressing one of the very things I had debated on, I decided to go ahead and add to the ending a little. And I must say that I am indeed much more satisfied with this now! Enjoy.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She's The Reason

She awoke to yet again see his retreating form. She watched through pale blue eyes as the material of his shinigami uniform swished with each step he took. Each step that he took leading away from her. He rarely stayed by her side. Her childhood friend…the man she loved…would stay with her until she fell asleep and then go to somewhere she didn't know the location of.

While it crossed her mind almost every night, she never followed him. She was sure that if she did he would pull even further away than he already was.

Sitting up and allowing the warmth of her bed sheets to fall away from her, she watched the snow fall around him as he left her. Her chest felt heavy with the urge to call out to him, to ask where he was going and why he would always be gone when she awoke. But her mouth remained closed as she watched the black of his clothing disappear into the snow, the white of his hair having blended into the surroundings some time ago.

"Gin…" she whispered on a shuddering breath. A few warm tears trickled from the corners of her eyes and ran down cold cheeks when she could no longer see him. "You'll stay one day, won't you?? One day you'll tell me where you go. How long do I have to wait? Will you tell me when that day gets here???"

Fabric rustled as her knees were pulled to her chest and her chin was rested on her folded arms. Orange hair spilled over her shoulders as she watched the silent snow fall to the ground.

It was just one more night that Matsumoto Rangiku would spend alone waiting for Ichimaru Gin to come back to her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

He watched her as she slept. Ever since they were children she'd had problems falling asleep if he wasn't around. He brushed a few strands of her long, orange hair away from her face and felt her face move closer to his touch. He sighed as he pulled his hand away and watched as she frowned slightly in her sleep.

He knew that she loved him. He wasn't blind or ignorant. But he also knew that he didn't love her in the way she wanted or deserved. In all honesty, he wasn't sure if he could. They had spent most of their childhood together and he didn't want to hurt her. They were at a point in their lives where they would still have their friendship but if they couldn't move forward together as something more, then they were going to have to learn to let go of each other and walk their own paths. He would be there to protect her and comfort her, but he would leave being her lover to a man better suited for that position in her life.

That had always been his role: the guardian. From the day he had found her lying in the middle of a deserted road and shared his food with her, to the day they had joined the shinigami academy, to the day they had been assigned to their squads, and now that they were both advancing in positions…he had looked after her every step of the way. He knew it would be hard to start pushing away from her, but it would be the best thing for both of them in the end.

Gin looked out into the dark, snowy night and knew that he needed to leave soon if he was going to make it to his destination in time. With that thought, he quietly stood after pulling the sheets up to keep his dearest friend warm and then departed. He would leave one woman as she slept to meet another who waited for him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

White ears twitched as they picked up the slight movements coming from a few feet away. He didn't need to open his eyes to know which of his traveling companions was leaving the small room that they were all sharing on this cold night. She would leave every night around this time and return an hour or two later. He would have followed if he hadn't already known where she was going. It was to meet the death god.

He knew this because he had followed her one night when all of this started. Moving with a quiet stealth, he had made his way through the dense forest following the trail her scent had left behind. He had been shocked at seeing her sitting in a clearing with a white haired man in black clothing, but had fought back the urge to attack the man when he saw the way she smiled. It was a happy smile that she used to save for him on the rare occasions he put his pride away and said something nice to her. But seeing that same smile directed towards another man…it made his heart feel as though it had fallen to his feet.

He had always pushed her away never knowing how to deal with the affection that she had always offered so freely. For years now, she had been vying for his attention and, most of all, his love. But that changed about six months ago. He wasn't sure when they had met or even _how_ they had met, but he knew that she'd found someone with whom she could love and be loved in return.

Even if he had never said it, he had wanted her to be his. He wanted to be with someone who didn't look down on him simply for what he was and instead loved and respected him for who he was. But now the only person who had loved him since his mother's passing was leaving him to spend time with another man.

It would be a lie if he tried to say he wasn't jealous. If he could have it his way he would have torn the rival for her affection to pieces. He would have her to himself, but he would probably lose her heart in the process. He'd spent far too long pushing her away and now that he wanted to pull her back it looked like she was just out of his reach. For now he would simply have to wait and see if this new person in her life made the same mistake that he had made. If so then he would be there to pick up the pieces and try to bring her heart back to him. But if not…if this man captured his friend's heart and never let it go…well he didn't want to think about that right now.

Opening one golden eye, Inuyasha watched as the shoji door quietly slid shut. "Have I really lost you this time, Kagome?" He whispered to the girl who was no longer in the room.

With sad eyes and a heavy heart, he remained awake with his thoughts until she would come back to her friends safe and sound.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She had been scared the first time she had laid eyes on him. She and her friends were passing through a village that had recently been raided and slaughtered by a group of bandits. There were many dead bodies and they had taken on the task of giving each a proper burial. It was late in the night as they were finishing when she saw him step from one of the small homes.

Her eyes told her that he was human, but every other sense screamed otherwise. This man made a chill run down her spine and her heart beat faster. When he noticed her staring at him he turned to face her. He gave her a curious look. She wanted to run. She willed her legs to move but her feet felt like they were tied to concrete blocks. She stood frozen as he kept his eyes on her and moved farther to her right. When her eyes followed him he merely allowed a thin smile to spread across his face. He looked like he was planning something and she wasn't sure that she wanted to find out what it was.

He slowly raised his hand and waved at her before disappearing into the night. When she could breathe again, she felt her knees get weak and buckle under her weight. She sat in the dirt road of the destroyed village and just stared at where he had been standing. She didn't know who he was or what he was, but she knew that she'd never met a creature like him before.

And that was the first of many encounters. Pink lips lifted into a smile at the memories of the games they had started playing. He would find her, usually when she was alone, and would allow her to catch just a glimpse of him before he disappeared again. This continued for a few weeks before she'd built up the courage to call out to him.

"Wait!" She'd shouted as she turned around to where she knew he was. As usual he vanished, but she hadn't been expecting a tap on the shoulder. She slowly turned around to face a man much taller than she was and could only stare at him. He was very thin with sharp features and while he was smiling something still seemed off. "I'm Kagome. You've been following me. What's your name?" But as soon as she asked the question she heard Inuyasha call her and turned around for a moment.

In those few seconds she heard a soft, deep voice say "Gin." And when she turned back around she found the tall man to be gone.

Kagome had thought about that meeting constantly. There was something about the man called Gin that drew her in and set her on edge all at the same time.

That had been some time ago. Now she left her friends each night to be with the man she knew she was falling for. And that was the reason she now found herself in a snowy clearing on this cold winter night.

~*~*~*~*~*~

When Gin arrived at their agreed meeting place for the evening he stopped to watch he woman he'd been spending his time with. She was standing near the edge of a cliff that was covered in snow overlooking a valley blanketed in white. Her glossy black hair waved gently on a breeze that blew while her cheeks and nose took on a rosy color due to the cold. Her bright blue eyes stood out against the pale skin of her face. Her pink lips parted as a giggle escaped her due to some of the falling snow blowing towards her face.

She was beautiful.

But she was also alive.

He knew that when things boiled down to the bare facts: she was a living human woman and he was more or less a spirit. Knowing this, the smile that he'd originally arrived with fell a little but not enough that it would alarm Kagome.

Gin stepped out into the clearing and silently walked up behind his raven-haired beauty to wrap his arms around her waist. He felt her jump and smirked as he leaned his face down into the curve of her neck. "Good evenin', Kagome."

"Hello, Gin." She greeted back as she pulled away some so that she could turn and face him. "What's wrong? Something's different about you."

He should have known that she would notice. "Nothin' t'worry about." He knew that if he had been anyone else she would have pried further, but his accent always seemed to distract her and make her laugh. But she never laughed directly at him for the way he talked as many others did. She had once told him she found it "cute."

"If you say so…look at the valley! Isn't it beautiful??"

He had to agree that it was quite a sight. The forest in the valley below them was covered in white and shimmered under the light of the full moon. "Kagome…I told ya what I am, right?" When he felt her nod he continued. "Why would ya want t'be with someone not from your world?"

Kagome smiled to herself as she thought about her relationship with everyone here in the past. She and Gin had never touched much on the subject of her past or where she was from so he couldn't understand what that question meant to her. "It shouldn't matter where a person is from, who their parents were, or what they are. You should get to know a person for who they are. Their personality and character should be what matter. Everything else is trivial and will usually work out in the end."

Gin just looked at her as she smiled up at him and stepped out of his grip to sit on the edge of the cliff. Sitting down next to her, they just enjoyed each other's company until she broke the silence. "Gin…when I die…will you be the one who takes me to the other side? The one who takes me to Soul Society??"

Pulling her close to his side he answered, "I don't know. Poss'bly. But that won't be for a long while. Why? Ya scared o' dyin'??"

Kagome shook her head slowly. "No…I'm scared of dying and being alone."

Hearing this, Gin lifted her chin so that he could look her in the face as he said, "Ya shouldn't be. You're m'reason for wantin' t'become a Captain. You'll have a good life when ya pass, Kagome."

She watched his face as the features softened and his eyes opened enough for her to see his red orbs. They contrasted so much with his white hair and pale complexion and she could never get enough. "Do you promise??"

"Yeah." He whispered as he pulled her face closer to his and sealed the deal with a kiss.

He'd kissed other women before and she'd kissed other men, but neither could remember anything like the feelings they evoked in each other. It was never rough, never demanding, but both would pour everything they felt into the moment. The affection and developing love was felt in every caress of the cheek, brush of the lips, and flick of the tongue. His hands always found their way to the back of her neck and the small of her back or her waist. Her hands would roam the familiar territory of his broad shoulder and defined jaw. He loved her small mewls. She loved his occasional smirk. Each kiss was powerful. Each kiss was deep. Each kiss was unforgettable.

And both planned to have those kisses for the rest of their days.

~*~*~*~*~*~

But plans can change. Being a Lieutenant kept Gin busy and his visits to the living world became less frequent. He missed Kagome but he had his duty.

One night he found the time to go back. He made the time to go back. He needed to see her and make sure she was okay. It had been months and he told himself that he would just be there long enough to tell her he would be there waiting when she crossed over. But he wasn't prepared for the news delivered to him…especially since it wasn't coming from the mouth of the woman he loved.

He'd searched for Kagome but instead found the half-demon she traveled with, Inuyasha. "Where is Kagome?" He'd asked.

"You're too late, death god." Came the response. "Our final battle is done and Kagome is gone. She left us and you won't find her in this world ever again."

Gin was shocked. She had already died and he hadn't noticed? Was she already in Soul Society waiting for him to come and find her?? With those thoughts he left to search his world for a raven-haired beauty with sapphire eyes.

But his search was fruitless. He never found her and never found anyone who had ever even seen her. Had she been turned into a Hollow after death?

He didn't even want to imagine the girl that had such a large and caring heart as a soul eating monster. So not wanting to succumb to depression, Gin threw every bit of himself into his work. He completely devoted himself to his position as Lieutenant and followed wherever his Captain would lead.

One day Aizen came to him when no others were around to hear or witness their conversation. "Gin, you are my most trusted comrade," he'd said. "I have a plan that I wish for you to be part of. It will be long and it will be dangerous, but the payout will be ultimate power and control. Will you join me, my friend??"

Gin turned a cold and falsely happy gaze to his Captain. "Captain Aizen…I will follow whate'er orders ya wish t'give me."

~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been five years since the jewel had sent her back to her own time. And it had been three months since she had died.

She thought it was a little ironic that she lived through a bloody battle against one of the greatest evil's the world had ever seen…only to go home and be killed by a car that had lost control on a rainy day.

He hadn't been the one though. She'd hoped against hope that Gin would be the one waiting for her. But instead she'd been greeted by a very serious girl with short black hair who looked to be her age or maybe even younger.

He had told her about his new position as Lieutenant before he left for good. Maybe he was too busy. Maybe he would be there to greet her in his world??

But that dream was soon shattered as well. He hadn't been there and he hadn't found her in the three months she'd been in the place called Soul Society. She was still getting used to this world and it wasn't long before a large commotion started. There were people being called "ryoka." They were trying to get into the Court of Pure Souls to save a friend.

She watched from a window as they fought the kind-hearted Jidanbou and she couldn't help but run back into the street with the giant shinigami fell. She watched, amazed, as he got up and lifted the massive gate. But what she saw after that caused her heart to shatter.

She saw short white hair, slanted eyes, and a wide smile. It was him and for a moment she was so happy she thought her heart would burst. But then she saw the bloodshed caused by his sword to someone merely hoping to rescue a friend. She saw him look at her for a moment before the gate fell and she couldn't stop the disappointment from showing on her face.

When he made no move for her she knew that he was different from the man she had loved.

That man was lost to her forever.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been about five hundred living years since he'd found out about Kagome's 'death'. He still thought about her from time to time. She was still in his dreams. But he'd given up his search for her long ago. And it was now that Aizen's plan was being put into full motion.

He'd done everything asked of him and they would soon be going to yet another world. But for now he was waiting by the gate that he knew the intruders to be on the other side of. He needed to slow them down and make sure they did not enter at this point. So he waited.

When the gate eventually lifted he smiled at the orange-haired boy and his group of friends. He would shoot to injure instead of to kill. They needed this boy and his group after all…for the next few hours at least.

He would stay under Aizen's command and gain the power that he had promised Kagome even if she wasn't by his side to see it.

With the boy injured and the gate falling, Gin bent over to give them a cheery farewell but at the last moment his eyes caught someone else. There was someone to the side. It was a soul. It was Her soul. And it was her sparkling blue eyes that he remembered so vividly looking at him with something akin to…disappointment?

After the gate had fallen, for the first time in five hundred years, Gin felt his allegiance to his Captain waver. She was right there. She was on the other side and he knew it now. If he'd moved fast enough he could have been holding her in his arms at that very moment.

But his hesitation to go to the woman he had loved made his decision for him. He had decided to follow his Captain and he would not stray from that path.

Maybe one day, if he achieved what he wanted, he could come back for her. Maybe she would forgive him. And maybe they would get the ending they had dreamed of so long ago.

End

~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: well…it's been a while since I have done a one-shot and my first didn't turn out so great (I don't think). Something about this seems…different from my usual. What do you guys think?? There are parts I like, parts I don't, and I'm just hoping I didn't butcher this as badly as I'm thinking I might have. I know I don't quite have a perfect grip on Gin's accent, but I may tweak it later unless you guys think it's okay. I read a manga chapter here and there, but I primarily watch the anime…sooo yeah. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone with the first thing I'm posting in my 'grand return'. Anyway, let me know what you think, check out my LJ (linked as Homepage on my profile), and I'll see you guys later!


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